EMPOWERED - 001

Welcome to my new project! I’ve been working on this for a while and it’s finally time to share it with you!  

I’ve never understood why nude art is sexualised, at the end of the day, it is literally just art. I get that we don’t all walk around naked for a reason, but there is literally no reason to get offended by a painting of some boobs, half of us have them after all.  

But if you’re still asking why, I do this because I'm trying to teach women to be proud of their bodies, to love their bodies and to feel empowered in their bodies. I could never explain the feeling when someone tells me that my art has helped them to love themself a little more, or that they finally got to wear that dress they love because they felt more confident after seeing my work. It's bloody incredible that I get to work with such amazing ladies and I am so proud that this is my career.  

In this new project, I'm going deeper than just painting. I'm learning about my clients and the relationship they have with their body, asking them why they feel the way they do and trying to break the stigma that we should all look a certain way – whilst keeping them anonymous so they have a safe place to share all of this. I really hope you take something from this, I've already learnt so much. 

Last year, my Mum asked me why I've never painted myself after dedicating my career to painting other women, and to be honest, it’s because I never had the confidence to have a go at it myself. Completely ironic I know.

So, now it’s my turn and I'm telling you it’s me, so you know that even I struggle sometimes with my body, but also maybe to inspire some of you to look in the mirror and point out something you love. 

Thanks for being here! 

EMPOWERED 001 - AMELIA 

What do you love most about your body? 

I want to say my eyes because I think they’re a pretty colour, but in the context of this project, that answer is entirely unhelpful. I guess I never really look in the mirror and point out things that I love about myself, I’m now realizing we should all be doing this more because everyone should be able to answer this question without having to think about it.  

I think I'm going to have to say my legs. They’ve taken me to some pretty cool places and they’re really strong. They’ve also handled some pretty mental fashion choices over the years, so for that and a few other things, I am proud of these legs.  

What are you most insecure about and why? 

My body doesn’t work the way in which it should and often I really hate that. When I was fifteen, I fell quite ill out of the blue, I woke up one day and my legs just wouldn’t hold me up because they were in so much pain, I was sick from the pain and I couldn’t understand it. I was fit, I was healthy, yet there I was lying on my bathroom floor completely immobile.  

After 8 months of tests and countless trips to the hospital, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness called Fibromyalgia. I’d never even heard of it before, I had no idea you could be sick in that way, let alone so young. There are hundreds of symptoms, I won't bore you with them all but here’s a few to help you understand what it’s like: extreme tiredness, constant pain, hypersensitivity, brain fog, memory loss, hair loss, mental illness, insomnia and one long constant headache. These are just a few I've dealt with this week, or am dealing with as I write this. Fibro is also chronic, so it looks as though it’ll be sticking around for a while.  

Right, now that’s out there, back to the question. I'm insecure because my body doesn’t work how it should. My central nervous system got confused a while ago and now I'm living with the consequences. You would never look at me and know I was sick, 99% of the time it is completely invisible, yet somehow, I feel like everyone can see it. This is my biggest insecurity. When people look at me, I feel like they can see right through my skin to the confusion in my brain on a bad day or literally see the pain running through my arms and legs. I don’t even see it, but I really feel like people can see right through me.  

I spend 90% of my time wearing tracksuits that are three sizes too big for this exact reason (it also hurts to wear clothes sometimes, so the bigger the better). I want to change this; I want to learn how to be proud of my body for persisting despite the pain and I want to feel strong when I look in the mirror.  

You might be glad to know that now, five years later, I've learnt (and am still learning) how to manage it. So, it’s rare I spend too much time lying on the bathroom floor immobile these days.  

What is your best non-physical feature? 

I've got a lot of love to give and I'm also bloody strong. I don’t admit that often but I am. Despite everything, I still show up every day with a big, cheesy smile on my face. I’m grateful for this strength, I don’t know where it comes from but I sure as hell wouldn’t still be here without it.  

What colour do you associate with yourself? 

I've asked a few of my favourite people to help me out with this one.  

Mum said green because I'm calm and laid back, yellow because I'm happy (most of the time) and pink because of my passion for art. Dad said red for the days when I'm hurting, and yellow because when I'm not hurting, I’m yellow. My brother said bright colours because they remind him of my art. My boyfriend said pink because it’s bright, and also my favourite colour. My cousin said purple because it’s passionate .  

I asked two of my best friends, one said orange because I have this raucous pair of orange trousers that I used to wear all the time, I love that this is what he thought of first. The other said warm colours and pink because I'm fiery and feminine. 

Before you start thinking I did this to boost my ego, I promise I didn't, these colours are going to be important for this painting. 

…

I’ve worked with a lot of women and they’re all so inspiring. It fills me with so much happiness when they see their painting and they say it makes them feel strong or beautiful or feminine or proud. I love that so many people trust me to do this job and I'm so excited to work with more of you. You've all inspired me to start my journey to loving my body, it would be hypocritical for me not to after all. So, thank you for trusting me, but also giving the confidence to have a go at this myself. You're all legends and I'm lucky to know you. 

Love always, 

Amelia x